::Pensive::

Oh that feeling that one has when standing at that fork in the road has been lurking over me for about a week now. I'll be honest, I have no idea what to do. I have two "professions" that I could choose. One is the future that I have had since a little girl, to love on students and prepare them for the future. The other is one that I have learned to love, and has the same goal of loving on students and preparing them for the future. One has a definite opening when I graduate, with a retirement plan and excellent benefits. The other is one that I will have to work for to get a job, but feel worth and accomplishment by getting there. One is terrifying, and full of disbelief in myself. The other is exciting and so rewarding. One can be found anywhere in many different outlets. The other is specific and may cause me to relocate. One makes very little pay. The other makes even less. So as you see, I don't know what to do.

This feeling has caused me much turmoil in the past couple of weeks. I know what my "heart" wants to do, and I know what my "brain" tells me to do. As for the direction God is having me go, as of yet, I don't know. I do have faith that he will open the necessary doors to make whatever His will is happen. But this means patience and lots of it. I don't know what I am supposed to do before and after I graduate college. I don't even know what major I want. So I stare at the two roads before me and wait.

I will leave you with as much hope as I have: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..." Jeremiah 29:11 (yes this is taken a little out of context but tonight it speaks volumes.)